Cereal Killer or Killer Cereal?

November 20th, 2008

If you look at the amount of space that is used in most grocery stores to display breakfast cereal you have to guess that cereal plays a large role in the store’s sales. In your neighborhood chain food store it’s all about display space. Different companies and suppliers battle for the right to stick their wares in the most advantageous places and to get as much of whatever available display space is up for grabs. Some products get very narrow slices of the shelf pie and others take up huge spaces by the door where you enter or perhaps on the end of a regular aisle.

Today I found myself standing in the middle of a fairly narrow aisle (the aisles themselves have to be passable but not too far apart or it will eat up the available merchandise space) trying to locate the Uncle Sam Breakfast Cereal that my wife and I eat. The sheer overwhelming number of cereals offered for sale made the simple search I was trying to conduct a bit of a task. Many of the boxes have similar artwork and colors. Most of the various sizes that the products come in have similar patterns and the huge selection caused my eyes to glaze. I felt a state of sleepy calm beginning to overtake me. Gradually the periphery of my vision became narrower and a Vaseline type glaze not unlike opening your eyes under water took place. After a brief effort to right myself and to fight off the deadening haze that my mind had drifted into, I felt a release and perceived an audible snap that indicated that I had crossed some line of consciousness. I drifted into a semi-spiritual state that ended in my field of vision swirling and slanting and sliding off of my sensory plane.

Then I found myself walking in a field of tall grass in my bare feet. The sun was shining and there were huge fluffy clouds drifting slowly through the sky. Most of the grasses and wild flowers that made up the field I was strolling leisurely through reached the level of my chest or at least slightly above my waist. I was moving through these plants in a slow stroll and the flowers were incredible. I recognized black eyed Susans, daisies, sunflowers and when I looked down at my bare feet I saw violets and dandelions as well as morning glories and buttercups. These were the flowers of my childhood; the flowers that I remember seeing all the time as a child growing up in the rural dairy country of northwestern Pennsylvania. I felt like a child again and I was warmed by the summer sun of late August. I moved on through the field and after a few minutes saw a fence made of wooden posts and barbed wire that separated the field from a large valley where a small stream was flowing. The noise of the water running over the stones and pebbles of the creek brought back more memories of youth. These sounds and sights were old friends.

I dropped to the ground and rolled under the lower strand of barbed wire and slid down the hillside to the short grass of a pasture that ran along the edge of the stream. I approached the abrupt dirt bank that followed the stream and I dropped to my knees, sitting down on the roots of a large maple that stretched out over the water. There was a faint fishy, moist earthy aroma that rose to my nose and I could see eight to twelve inch carp and suckers moving upstream in the shallow water. A small pool that had formed on the downstream side of the maple tree held tadpoles with legs that were almost fully developed and crayfish of various sizes. A fat water snake slid into the water on the other side of the tree and I was able to catch just the briefest glimpse of his patterned skin as he disappeared downstream. Not all of the creatures were glad that I was there.

I leaned against the tree and stared up into the pillowy clouds that were drifting at a pace that revealed their lack of ambition. They were in no hurry and I could think of no reason why I should be as I drifted off to sleep. What a gorgeous day to be alive and what a lucky fool I was to be as in this delicious world.

When I came to I discovered a large man with greasy parted hair and a ridiculously proper tie standing over me. An older woman was offering me a drink of water and she was the first person I recognized. She was the check out person in the store I shopped in. She smiled and asked me how I was in a manner that made me believe she really wanted to know. What the hell was going on?

You feeling better honey? Is there anyone we can call for you? You fell down. We don’t think you hit you head but we think you might get someone here so you don’t have to drive. I know you drove here because the bag guy knows you car.

Bag guy?

What?

Where’s the Uncle Sam Cereal? I just need to get a couple of boxes of that stuff.

Uncle Sam’s is one of those natural cereals that people hate because it tastes like you’re eating a bowl of oats or wheat berries. There is no added sugar. It has flax seed in it and there are ten, yes that’s right TEN, (10) grams of fiber in each serving.

Now we all know that you have to be careful about what constitutes a serving size. When you read the ingredients on the side of the box and you check out all of that nutritional information you must be sure to see what they list as a serving size. It might have twenty percent of the daily recommended requirements of Vitamin C or Protein or whatever, but if the serving size is half a bushel and it takes twenty boxes of the stuff to get that much, then it really doesn’t mean much if you get my point. Now that is an obvious exaggeration and I “never” like to exaggerate, but I have read the nutritional information on candy bars and thought that the fat and sugar content was not all that bad until I discovered that in their opinion one bar constituted three servings. Yeah, right. I’ll buy a candy bar and share it with two other people.

Uncle Sam Cereal comes in two versions. One version is just the cereal and the other has dried blueberries, strawberries and raspberries in it. I used to buy the one with the dried fruit but I have discovered that it cost almost a buck more than the plain version. Now I just add my own fruit. My wife likes raisins and I like bananas. I just checked out their website and it turns out they sell an instant Oatmeal in two different flavors as well as some sort of energy bar. I have not sampled them as I have not seen them in any of the fine grocery stores I shop in, but I bet they are good.

I like the flavor of the whole grain goodness and that is what Uncle Sam’s is really all about. As I stated in some of my earlier posts, I am all about colon health and whole grains. Do yourself a favor and make sure you get some good fiber in your diet. Everyone should have a colonoscopy by the time they are fifty and by eating a lot of fiber in your younger years you will help to prevent colon cancer. Colon cancer is highly curable if caught early so be sure to get the colonoscopy when you turn fifty and do what the doctor says. Alright. Enough said.

I can’t help but think that there are some parts of our lives where we just have way too many choices. Standing in front of an overwhelming array of possibilities is enough to make anyone drift into la la land. I like to sample new foods and drinks and I hope I never give up trying new things but sometimes when you find something that really works for you on whatever level, then you just need to stick to it and as we say in our family, “keep on enjoying yourself”.

I think Uncle Sam is killer. Check it out with some bananas and soy milk. Good stuff.

Entry Filed under: General, My Idyllic Childhood